‘Twenty Percent More’, Part Four
The random and rambling observations of a Melbourne lass who went to the USA, saw some stuff, and then came home.
Part Four: The Elevator
No, this is not a tedious whinge about the fact that seppos don't know what a 'lift' is.
The elevator is the 'up and down' glance that one person gives another when checking them out*. The Elevator is usually a sexual thing but apparently straight girls also elevator other straight girls to assess hair/make-up/shoes/clothes/shape/accessories/threat-level.
My experience in The States indicates that Australian blokes are far subtler at catching the Elevator than Seppo men. Well done, boys.
Maybe I just don't go to the 'right places' in Melbourne but at a bar in LA one night (when my 'ladies' were housed very discreetly and I had a gentleman friend by my side) I was rather startled by the incredibly obvious elevator-action going on.
In a couple of instances there was actually enough time for me to
and think of some possible responses**.
- Did you drop something down there, sir? Shall we look for it together?
- Yes, they are real. It's possible in places that aren’t Los Angeles.
- Have you noticed you’re thinning out a little on top there?
- What size? Go on, have a guess. There's a dime in it for you.
- They’re genuine looking, huh? I got them done at the same time as the snip. There was a coupon deal.
- I’m sorry, did you just say Mommy?
Yo, Californian dudes. No one can stop you from looking but speed it up a little, yeah? Not since high-school have I been so embarrassed for the opposite sex.
* Victoria's esteemed Premier
** More suggestions welcomed.